is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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