I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
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