Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
