Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
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