ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
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