this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
Everything about him screamed your future.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
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