i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I just blew my weed a kiss
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
Randomize
