it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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