wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
