I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize