Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Randomize
