Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
