Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
