Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
