the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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