Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
