you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
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