I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Randomize
