It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
Life is so much better after having sex.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
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