After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
