What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Found the puke drawer
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize
