what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
splinters make it hard to masturbate
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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