Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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