HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
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