so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
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