I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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