my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
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