Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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