I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
How external is "for external use only"?
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
