There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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