you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
