U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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