I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
