Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
