I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
Randomize
