can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Randomize