Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
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