her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
