she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
