so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
Randomize
