Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
