I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
