the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
birth control should be required to get into college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
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