people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Randomize
