That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Randomize
