So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
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