So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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