Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
