I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
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