I want to have your abortion
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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