Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
