I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
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