Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
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