At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
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