i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
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