great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize
