he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
