omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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