Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.

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(617): That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head. http://tfl.nu/g2zg

Replies (19) Good night (909) Bad night (4508)
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(916): View more from California

Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.

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(916): Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life. http://tfl.nu/lqwm

Replies (17) Good night (1205) Bad night (3459)
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(408): View more from California

It's chlamydia! Thank God!

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(408): It's chlamydia! Thank God! http://tfl.nu/1hqj

Replies (25) Good night (1513) Bad night (8321)
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(403): View more from Alberta, CA

You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"

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(403): You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her" http://tfl.nu/oma3

Replies (16) Good night (4879) Bad night (821)
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(859): View more from Kentucky

Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up

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(859): Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up http://tfl.nu/e5lq

Replies (10) Good night (669) Bad night (1622)
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(941): View more from Florida

Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?

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(941): Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket? http://tfl.nu/fc98

Replies (5) Good night (1160) Bad night (1184)
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(971): View more from Oregon

I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed

(425): View more from Washington

Yeah, that sounds like my life.

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(971): I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed (425): Yeah, that sounds like my life. http://tfl.nu/4i94

Replies (5) Good night (2140) Bad night (659)
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(419): View more from Ohio

after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself

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(419): after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself http://tfl.nu/nl6g

Replies (4) Good night (1505) Bad night (554)
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(573): View more from Missouri

Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?

(636): View more from Missouri

Wtf did you do last night?

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(573): Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much? (636): Wtf did you do last night? http://tfl.nu/0xxc

Replies (12) Good night (1711) Bad night (645)
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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.

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(832): He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass. http://tfl.nu/my94

Replies (14) Good night (537) Bad night (1021)
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(937): View more from Ohio

Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.

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(937): Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work. http://tfl.nu/wxxj

Replies (13) Good night (2930) Bad night (488)
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(785): View more from Kansas

I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.

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(785): I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight. http://tfl.nu/7eeo

Replies (3) Good night (519) Bad night (501)
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(260): View more from Indiana

I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.

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(260): I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business. http://tfl.nu/cc6r

Replies (1) Good night (554) Bad night (212)
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(908): View more from New Jersey

Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.

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(908): Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up. http://tfl.nu/c97y

Replies (1) Good night (466) Bad night (350)
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(256): View more from Alabama

Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.

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(256): Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants. http://tfl.nu/myfs

Replies (2) Good night (688) Bad night (409)

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