Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(313): View more from Michigan

I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me

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(313): I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me http://tfl.nu/x1tc

Replies (8) Good night (1656) Bad night (1687)
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(801): View more from Utah

Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.

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(801): Yes, it's true. 4 fingers. http://tfl.nu/fqre

Replies (31) Good night (3588) Bad night (1188)
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(989): View more from Michigan

I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa

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(989): I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa http://tfl.nu/0rxp

Replies (27) Good night (687) Bad night (3519)
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(859): View more from Kentucky

I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.

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(859): I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze. http://tfl.nu/hayj

Replies (17) Good night (842) Bad night (5193)
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(235): View more from

I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.

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(235): I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick. http://tfl.nu/7zv4

Replies (55) Good night (2381) Bad night (6697)
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(401): View more from Rhode Island

My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people

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(401): My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people http://tfl.nu/xhvq

Replies (28) Good night (1577) Bad night (5488)
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(940): View more from Texas

You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.

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(940): You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata. http://tfl.nu/mqsn

Replies (3) Good night (3382) Bad night (818)
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(319): View more from Iowa

Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped

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(319): Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped http://tfl.nu/i5o2

Replies (33) Good night (1476) Bad night (739)
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(248): View more from Michigan

Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.

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(248): Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now. http://tfl.nu/4pf5

Replies (5) Good night (599) Bad night (1158)
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(248): View more from Michigan

The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk

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(248): The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk http://tfl.nu/s1mo

Replies (4) Good night (877) Bad night (1052)
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(608): View more from Wisconsin

Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.

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(608): Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this. http://tfl.nu/002x

Replies (3) Good night (1086) Bad night (384)
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(407): View more from Florida

i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka

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(407): i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka http://tfl.nu/95pf

Replies (4) Good night (409) Bad night (724)
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(410): View more from Maryland

I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time

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(410): I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time http://tfl.nu/zqpv

Replies (0) Good night (343) Bad night (610)
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(408): View more from California

im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake

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(408): im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake http://tfl.nu/9w4m

Replies (1) Good night (700) Bad night (336)
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(314): View more from Missouri

I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.

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(314): I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done. http://tfl.nu/w2o8

Replies (0) Good night (982) Bad night (354)

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