I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
Dating After Heartbreak
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
These Images Prove Chrissy Teigen is the Funniest Model Alive
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.