apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
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