im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
i drank out of a bidet.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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