Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
