I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
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