I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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