The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Randomize
